it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
