I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
