He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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