im about as happy as oj after his trial
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
