it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
