WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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