I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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