Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
