Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize