she looked like the before picture.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
