who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
