he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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