My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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