You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
