all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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