Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
