i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
