When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
