I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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