The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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