i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
