We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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