he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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