So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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