We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
