i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
