help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
