Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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