i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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