Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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