im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
