went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
