Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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