Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
