He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
