I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
