Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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