I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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