It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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