I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
