I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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