How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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