is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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