I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
