He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
