I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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