Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
bring money and cleavage
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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