Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize