Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
