Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We were destined to go to rehab together
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
