I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
