She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
