so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
