Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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