He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize