It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
