Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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