If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
