i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
