you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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