whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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