this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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