just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How does it feel to date your dad?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
