well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
