I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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