apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
