I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You are a genius and a whore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
