so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There r osticjed everywhere
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
