i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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