Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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