Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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