Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
