I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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